If you haven't seen anything about it, basically a 68-year-old woman was harassed and insulted by middle school students on a bus in upstate New York to the point of tears. They called her nasty names, made fun of her weight and even threatened her. The language these children used was horrific! I refuse to give examples of some of the things that were said toward this woman.
First of all, there are 3 things that scare the bejesus out of me when it comes to my children. One. Maintaining a positive relationship with my children - knowing how to create a balance between being their friend and their parent. Two. I am afraid of the ease of access my kids will have to drugs. And three. Bullying has become such a front and center issue with kids speaking way more harshly toward one another and the lack of respect kids have for authority, each other, and elders. I will not allow my children to become bullies nor will I stand for them being bullied.
This topic obviously deals with my third fear. I don't see any warning signs at the moment of my children becoming bullies at this point. They are all still rather young and maintain their innocence. But they will grow up to learn to respect other people. I get that growing up is difficult. There's peer pressure everywhere. But there is a time and place for joking around and there's also a point at which joking around and teasing becomes more than just innocent fun. I was also brought up to respect my elders. I may not have agreed to everything someone did or said. I may not have liked someone. But I was always respectful and bit my tongue when I was amongst people older than me. An elder is an elder no matter what. Respect seems to have gone by the wayside these days. I would never think to say such terrible things to someone that way...and really I wouldn't say that to anyone elder or not.
It also didn't look like any of the other children on the bus stepped in and tried to stop the verbal bashing. Of course, I would like to think that I would have and that I would like my child to step in when they see someone being bullied. But I can also understand the fear that the children may have experienced witnessing what they did and seeing how they hurt an adult, let alone one of their classmates.
These leads to how the children involved should be punished. This was a debatable topic on the Today Show. They discussed having the children expelled and apologizing and even punishing the parents of these children. The idea of expelling kids from school raises questions. Will this allow children to do as they please and roam the world with no sense of structure and education? Or will removing children and cutting them off from those they aim to please help alleviate the peer pressure and open their eyes to what they have actually done? I think it could go either way. I do blame the parents for the way that their children behave - kids are a direct reflection of the people who raise them. But does that mean that their parents should be punished and how? Of course each and every child ought to apologize face to face with the woman that they hurt. And I do believe that they should experience the same level of shame and hurt that they placed upon her, but of course I would never wish on anyone the kind of treatment that they showed their victim. So how does one go about teaching these children a lesson and teaching them to empathize with the bus monitor.
I know I'm not a perfect mother and I know that there are many things that I have yet to teach my children and have yet to experience with them. I can tell you that being a mom is the most rewarding, the most difficult and the most scary thing that I've ever encountered. How do I know that I'm teaching my children the right tools to deal with life? This has all got me thinking about how I'm teaching my children. I do not know how I, myself, would handle it if one of my children turned out to be like one of those mean-spirited children. I do not stand here judging those parents, but somewhere, somehow they learned it was OK to treat others that way.
These are all thoughts to ponder. I would love to know how other moms out there feel on this topic.
On a lighter note, the Northeastern area of the US is experiencing record high temperatures. I am currently indoors with the a/c on, but would love to take my children to the splash pad in a nearby neighborhood to burn some energy and get their cool on. But I'm afraid of how to keep my infant cool on this hot summer day. He's too young for me to want to take him into the water...especially water spraying in all different directions. But I don't want him burning up in his car seat either. Even under the shade the temperatures are scorching with the humidity in the air. I've made some fudgesicles for the family to eat and at school, my daughters' teachers had her drinking water while at the playground. How is everyone else keeping cool?
Stay cool and enjoy summer!
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