The Age Old Debate

All moms are critical of each other. Even if we say we aren't judging or don't mean to, we still have an opinion about others' parenting. One of the biggest debates are that of MWOH (mothers working outside the home...I could very well have just made that acronym up) vs. SAHM (the stay at home mom). I have been on both sides of this one and that is where my opinion on the matter comes into play.

When I had my first child I was going to school and work. Once I graduated I went to work full time and shortly after that I became a SAHM. My reasons for becoming a stay at home mom were practical...for the most part. My husband was scheduled to go out to sea for an extended period and to me, it just didn't seem fair to my daughter. I wanted to be able to give her all of my attention and to make up for his absence. I also figured it would be difficult to shuffle her around to daycare and from daycare while fighting to get everywhere on time. So that started my approximately 5 year stint as a full time mom.

Now that I have 3 children and are back "home" from our duty station in Connecticut, I figured it was time to go back to work. This was mostly fueled by my need to have mom time as well as the need to feel like I contribute more to my family.

With that being said, I want to say that both have its pros and cons. As a SAHM I loved being available and flexible to my children on a regular basis. However, being around my children literally 24/7 was rough. I never felt like I had a break from working. I love them all to pieces as is politically correct to say. However, they are certainly a handful and as I've said once, twice, a million times before, it is important to take care of yourself and have some mom time so you can appreciate the time with your children that much more. As a SAHM I hated the stigma that I didn't do anything all day. I was also tired of being judged for not having a house that was spotless and everything in its place. That was annoying as heck. The truth of the matter is that I tried to have fun with the kids while also following them around the house picking up the tornados they created. It was a vicious circle. All the while, I had to try to keep the household running with bills, chores, shopping (and I'm not just talking retail here). To top it off, I felt like I couldn't make any of the larger family decisions - which car we should purchase, which house to rent, etc. I wasn't making any of the money so what gives me the right to say it's OK to spend such a large amount on a single thing.

As a working mom I love that I have a separate life than that revolved around my 3 little minions. I feel like there is more depth to me and I feel like I'm a better mom to the children because I miss them when I am away from home and I have a little more patience with them. On the other hand, it is certainly a balancing act. I struggle to get to my kids' daycare before they close after work and I have no energy to make them a home cooked meal or to check homework and bathe them before bed. I appreciate that I'm bringing home a paycheck, but in all honesty I'm certainly not going to make it rich because childcare eats up 50-75% of that money. Most of the negative stigma toward MWOH is that they are not the ones raising their children and/or that they have no time for anything besides work and children.

Therefore, my opinion alone, is that being a mom is not easy whether you are at home with your children or working outside the home. We do what we need to out of necessity. Moms who are home with their children cherish that time with them and are doing their best to raise them the best way they know how. And these moms should never feel like they do not have a say in the important family decisions because raising your children is a huge contribution to the family. And not all moms have the pleasure of choosing to stay home with their children. This is not a bad thing...they are providing a certain lifestyle for their family and are likely doing a better job parenting then if they were overly stressed and frustrated with being at home all day. It doesn't make you a terrible parent for feeling like you need a break from your kids or wanting to strangle them every now and again.

Whether you are a good or bad parent has nothing to do with your "job" and has everything to do with what you do with the moments that count. Do you make every effort to go to your children's sporting events or school plays? Do you listen to your children and show an interest in their interests? Do you snuggle with them every chance you get and are you paving the way for a happy, healthy, successful life for them? Even though we are ultimately going to judge others for their parenting whether it be outspoken or subconscious, keep in mind that you can't possibly know everyone's story. We are all a band of mothers and should help each other out and stand by each other.

Now's the time!

This time of year, end of the holiday season, beginning of the new year, many retailers are hosting their semi-annual or end-of-season sales. This is a great time to shop!! You'll find many sales sometimes equal to or better than Black Friday ones. And although I love to shop amidst the craziness and hunt for a great deal and the instant satisfaction of the tangible item in my hands, there are days that I just can't muster the energy to load up and drag along 3 little minions and all the stuff that comes with them - diapers, snacks, toys, etc. I would rather sit amidst the craziness of the children at home where there is no one to judge the tantrums and breakdowns from all of us.

Luckily there are a few retailers making that extremely easy for us. Here are 3 of my favorites.

Express - Today is the last day they are offering $25 off of $75 purchase, $50 off $150 and $75 off $225. Don't worry these deals come and go regularly, but they are also offering 50% off of all their clearance items!!! You can also get free shipping on purchases totaling over $125, but don't feel obligated to have to purchase that much just for the free shipping...that's how they get you. :) However, you should go here for some fun date night apparel or work ensembles.

Bath & Body Works - The stores semi-annual sale is quickly coming to an end. Hit them up for items marked up to 75% off. Last I checked you could get wallflower bulbs for $2.50 (a Black Friday price) or the 2 packs for $6. You can also get their amazing 3 wick candles for only $8 (regularly $20). And on top of all that you can find a coupon online for $10 off of $40 purchase. You can also show them this post as long as the coupon code is easy to read.

Williams-Sonoma - Best known for their high quality kitchen gadgets, you can find some awesomely functional products as well as cool to have products that you may not have thought existed. This retailer is offering an extra 25% off of their clearance items. I recently found a grill tray that we have been needing for a pretty decent price considering its size and quality in their clearance selection. And icing on the cake - they are offering free shipping on all orders with no minimum purchase requirement with code FREESHIP.

Happy Shopping!!!

Outlet Quickie

Holy Hello! It is 2014!! I know it has been ages since I last wrote a post, but I'm too afraid to actually look at the date. :/ Well, with the new year, I need to resolve to be better...even though I'm busier then ever this year. All 3 of my little minions are enrolled in school/daycare so that I could go back to work. My oldest is going to be starting soccer next month. The husband transferred to a new command that will be keeping him away from home a little more than our last station and I'm going to start trying to get back to running my business now that we've moved and kind of settled in.

But I'm going to try to focus my posts more on deals that I've been finding lately because amidst all the chaos, I find the most joy in taking some time for myself for a massage (which I recently found on Groupon for almost half the price and a longer session), occasionally heading to the neighborhood gym before picking up the kids, and of course, going shopping. But I very very very rarely ever buy anything full price. I have an app for that...if I don't already have a coupon. Some of my favorite retailers that offer great coupons are Bath and Body Works, Gap [Outlet] and Target. But then there are also the few occasions where you feel you deserve to treat yourself to a special something...like say a new Michael Kors bag or something of the sort. Well, I haven't found a decent deal for that specific handbag retailer since Christmas, but I did head out to the outlets today with my kids in tow and met my girlfriend for a mini retail experience.

We ended up going to Michael Kors (I exited empty handed and a sad face), but I did find a couple of deals going on at Gymboree Outlet and the Converse Outlet. Because most stores are currently moving their winter stock out for the Spring collections, you can easily find a bunch of pants, jackets, and long sleeves on sale for great prices! At Gymboree, they had roundabouts full of pants and long sleeve tshirts with a sign on top saying $5.99 and under - Discount taken at register. I picked up a pair of pants for my boys a size big for $5.99, original outlet price $22.99. Also Gymboree, much like almost ALL of the outlet stores at this location, was offering a BOGO (Buy One Get One) 50% off sale on all regular priced items. I found tshirts for 2 of my children from the new Spring lines each valued at $14.99. For the 3 items I paid roughly $21. Not bad considering the regular price of the pants alone were that much.

After that we hit up Converse. Every kid needs a good pair of Chucks...mine have several...lucky little boogers. Most of them were gifted and handed down to them from friends. On the plus side, much of their sneakers are gender neutral so even though my girlfriend has 3 boys, my daughter can benefit from their mother's shoe addiction. Hahaha. Anyway, Converse was also having a BOGO Half Off sale, but it was on everything in store, including sale items. My daughter needed a pair of shoes seeing as her feet have grown the diameter of a nickel in a few short months. She got a pair of classic Chucks in pink.

She's seen her posing with my girlfriend...the one with the shoe addiction. :p

Since there was a BOGO sale going on, I figured my boys could use a pair as well. I got one big enough for my older son to wear and we can make the most of our money by then passing it on to the youngest. For 2 pairs, I paid $29. The boys' shoes were originally marked $37.00. I didn't catch the original cost of the pink shoes because my daughter insisted on wearing hers as soon as we left the store.

Other outlet stores that I noticed were having good sales were the following:

Nine West: $14.99 sale (they do this fairly often) as well as BOGO Half Off

Michael Kors: Additional 50% off clearance purses

Guess Factory: I noticed a table of marked down items but I did not go into the store

Skechers: BOGO Half off although what I paid at Converse for 2 pairs cost barely more than 1 pair here

Oshkosh B'gosh: Winter clothes marked down $5.99 or less

Go check out your outlet mall this weekend. Many stores offer great discounts for long holiday weekends. It's a great time to stock up on winter essentials for the future.