Splitting Chores or Heading to Splitzville

Earlier in the week, or maybe it was late last week (who knows these days), there was a lot of attention in the news media surrounding a foreign study that claimed that couples who share chores more equally are more likely to divorce. The conclusion was based on the correlation between couples who share chores and having a more modernized POV on marriage. They claimed that modern couples who no longer deem household chores as women's work don't put as much emphasis on the sanctity of marriage and are more open to the idea of divorce. It is also significant to note that within those couples who share household chores, women are more financially independent as well as they are working outside the home and rely less on their husbands as breadwinners. I can see where they are coming from. There is definitely a link among these ideas.

Now, in my own personal relationship, my husband and I do share the chores. Whether or not they are equally distributed is another argument. :p However, I do rely on my husband to help more with the children and at times to make a meal for the family and even to help pick up around the house. Yes, I do have a modern idea of marriage, but we each have different standards of the way we want things done within the household. And in those situations, we take a more prominent role in fulfilling them. For example, I like a clean house, but with 3 kids I am not going to trail 2 feet behind each one of them picking up every crumb and toy. My husband on the other hand does not understand why he comes home to a house where toys are flown about and crayons on the wall and open containers of food sitting on the counters. So, he is often hollering at them to pick up after themselves or cleaning (also known as tossing) these displaced objects. And I do well to pick out the cutest outfits for the kids and myself and therefore I am in charge of laundry, otherwise we would all have pink tie dyed wardrobes. On the other hand, we typically stick to the general rule of 1 person cooks the meal while the other cleans the kitchen.

Don't get me wrong, the divide between household chores is cause for many arguments in our house. In fact, it's probably the number one fight between my husband and I. Otherwise, we don't have much to argue about. But most of it is still learning to live and accept each other's way of living and adjusting to make it work for everyone. We have been together for a nice chunk of time, but are still in the toddler stages of wedded bliss.

Despite the split in chores and the arguments that arise from it I do not see our relationship heading for Splitzville any time soon. In fact, I think we have a better relationship than many couples we know. That's not to say we are perfect, but we work together raising our family and we work together on our relationship and therefore I believe we will last. And we also have a little bit of those good ol' fashion values that put marriage on a pedestal. Fighting over chores is the least of my worries within my family. The most important factors in our lasting relationship is supporting each other and allowing each other to dream big and having the same goals for our children and being each other's best friend seeing as we are stuck together from here on out.

A correlation in studies does not result in cause and effect. It's called a coincidence.

On another note there are chores I don't mind and chores I despise. Bleh. Here's my list of Not-so-bad to Shoot-me-now.

1. Organizing
2. Washing laundry
3. Folding laundry
4. Cooking
5. Loading the dishwasher
6. Helping the kids with their homework and picking up their toys
7. Cleaning the kitchen
8. Bathing the children
9. Putting away the laundry
10. Putting away the dishes